So… I am not in high school anymore.

I won’t name names right now, but I’d like to put those of you who will later decide to be a drain on the social web on notice. This is the last time I offer this courtesy. Next time, the gloves come off.

What is my deal? Why should you even be reading this? Well, bear with me. I swear I have a broader lesson in how to properly social network in here. Eventually.

In the past month or so, all of these things have happened:

• I have been attacked a few times on Twitter for making completely uncontroversial comments. It has gotten to the point where comments are so snarky and rude on Twitter that I have even created a new tag of #hecklers and vowed to block and publicly out anyone who jumps down my throat for no good reason. Anyone who knows me at all knows I welcome civilized (and even snarky) debate, but there must be some attempt to have an adult conversation in there somewhere.
• The tone on Twitter lately seems to have taken on a much less collaborative and positive atmosphere as certain twitholes are coming in who see putting others down as the best way to boost their own credibility. (Hint: this ain’t the way to do it).
• I know of several online friends who have been the focus of rather vicious blog/Twitter attacks. Again, there is plenty of room for differing opinions about things. What there isn’t room for is people who flat out target someone and attack. If you don’t agree with the way someone is behaving on Twitter or in the blogosphere, there is no reason you can’t disagree in a polite and adult manner. This means being pleasant, and it means being open to other opinions. It means being FAIR. And it means if you are attacking because of a personal gripe or bias, being upfront about it. Oh, and here’s a little hint here, too. If you throw a popular social networking blogger under a bus for your own gain, you will suffer the consequences.

This, quite frankly, is the bad side to the power of blogging and social networking. Because, really, it IS like high school. There are popular people and unpopular people, nice people and mean people, the manipulators and the helpers, the givers and the takers.

I know I promised a lesson here somewhere, and yes I realize I am rambling. Here it is. When you socialize online, you are still socializing and you are still participating in a community. You should think about how your statements reflect on your personal brand (or company brand). If you say something snippy or snarky or rude, ask if you would say it the same way if you were face to face with that person. If the answer is no, you might want to ramp it down a bit. (Plus, very few people are really impressed by rudeness.)

If you display the characteristics of a jerk, it might work briefly. You might see some small gains.

But be very careful. You will quickly burn through all your social equity. Soon, you will find you have no reach and the work you put into social networking now means nothing. In fact, it means worse than nothing because now you have people spreading bad word of mouth about you at a hectic pace.

So always remember you are in a community. Remember your blog kharma, and remember to be on Twitter and other social networks to give and help first and not to take.

_{Photo of social drama, © Samantha Mesones.}

This is simply evidence of the amazing world that is the blogosphere and, in an even more microscopic way, that blogger brain trust at Twitter. Within a couple minutes, I learned about these awesome posts. I laughed, I cried, and I loved every single one. And this is just a completely random sampling of people who provided links. You’ve gotta love the blogosphere!

Enjoy them while they’re hot and fresh:

• Do you like to be a winner? Yeah, me too. There will be some cool weekly giveaways at Temporarily Me.
• Lest we forget the importance of alone time, The Mom Chronicles shares about Sarah’s Day Out.
• I can’t even begin to express the sympathy I have, being a mom of a nutty 5-year-old myself, when I read this post, She’s Only Five, at Viva La Feminista.
• OK. I am a little irked because I got involuntarily teared up reading Goodbye… Love You over at West of Philly Burbs. That’s probably because I JUST took my daughter to kindergarten. And it was very difficult/exciting. (And I love Philly!)
• This is cool. What is YOUR super power, and how does that apply to discovering your brand? My superpower? I call Web Supah-freak Supah-power. Yeah! Thanks to the Small Business Guru.
• Oh, I feel a project coming on (or at least a run to the store to by materials that will sit in a closet forever so my husband can give me crap about it every time he sees it). Getting Crafty features an incredible post on tote bag patterns and tutorials. I love the idea of making my own tote, or making cute totes for the kids.
• There is a sweet and touching post, On Mothers, at Renaissance Culinaire. (And hey, I totally love foodie moms!)
• I am a firm, firm believer of pursuing dreams (this is why I ditched a job, sold a house, and moved with husband and 1-year-old to France, despite everyone saying we were insane). So Studio Jewel’s post, My Dream List, is one everyone should read (and you should make your own list!).
• Want the real low-down on the stay-at-home lifestyle? At Gaming with Baby, he gets down and dirty about the SAHD realities with his post, So You Want to Be a Stay at Home Parent.
• Have you been wasting cash on Raid? You might consider investing in geckos for your next roach infestation. Yep. The Daily Digress reveals this little trick in her post, In Which the Solution is More Horrifying Then the Problem.
• Forget back to school lists. At 2 Garzas and La Gringa, find out about a real scandal. When they say washable, they… well, they are exaggerating, shall we say? I can personally say I have used two of the three products here, and she ain’t lying in her post, Washable? My Sorry Domestic Ass!
• What would you blog if CNN called? The McMommy Chronicles describes her emotional roller coaster in her post, Just When You Think You Have Nothing to Blog About.
• I love free things, in a way that is kind of an illness. I’m totally going after the free sample of Post-It Super Sticky Recycled Notes reported at Kids Meal Crowd (which includes a cool parent hack).
• It is totally appropriate in the theme of cooperation to share the Advantages of Bloggers Network/Group Blogging post from The WWW Blog.
• At Ladybug’s Picnic, a blogger does just what a blogger should when she doesn’t like a post. She turns to her readers for some inspiration.
• The Edge Foundation blog features a great post about how Michael Phelps proves ADHD is not attention deficit!
• Don Mills Diva is one parent who is pleased to have an ungrateful kid. Wonder why? Read the post, Thank Goodness He’s So Ungrateful.
• Want to know what on earth a Tykes on Trikes Parade is? Yeah, me too. Check it out over at Crunchy Green Lovin’ Mom.
• Oh, I am boiling reading Momville’s post on Bashing Working Moms. Care to join me in a friendly seethe?
• Speaking of contests, there is an awesome one going on at the Princess Time Toys blog. I love this shop… and not just for all the cool princess stuff. There’s great boy stuff, and toys, and it’s just amazing. And a mom owns it.
• The Send Chocolate blog has a hilarious post, Finally Olympic Events I Could Win. Too funny! And yeah, I despised running in school, too.

I love to spread the love! I should have added a regular link love post before, and I will do it from now on. So if you have anything cool you want to share, contact me. I will probably go with themes or something else that strikes my fancy from now on.

You may be wondering what blog kharma even is. Blog kharma is doing the right thing just because you are part of a community, and you want to help others. Be a generous blogger. Here is how you get good blog kharma:

• Link to other blogs.
• Don’t just link to other blogs that have a high PageRank and are wildly popular. Link to the little blogs, the ones just starting out. You were there once, too (and maybe still are). Help a blogga out, sisters and brothers!
• Promote other bloggers’ stuff. Stumble (recommend, review or or thumbs-up a post at StumbleUpon), post it on Twitter, Digg it, Propeller it, Kirtsy it, momShare it, you name it. When you see something good, spread the word. You help the blogger, and you help other readers
• When bloggers ask for promotion (such as on a social network, or by sending you a message through StumbleUpon), provide it. You don’t want to be taken advantage of, but if someone is reasonable and only asks for a little help from time to time, then give it!
• Have a blogroll, or a weekly link love post, or some place where you regularly give mention and exposure to other bloggers.
• Comment on blogs to keep conversations lively and active. Don’t comment just to promote yourself (although most do let you make your name linkable to your site).
• If you use WordPress, use a plugin like CommentLuv to allow those who comment on YOUR site to get an extra boost of exposure.

On the other hand, I frequently see sites and blogs that have serious bad blog kharma. You have bad blog kharma if you have committed any of the following:

• Mentioned a site but didn’t highlight the name of the site and link to it.
• Held back from linking to other blogs or sites because you were afraid you would leak some of your Google PageRank, send someone away from your site, or because you’re afraid you’ll boost their search engine rankings and not your own, or for some other blog-selfish reason.
• Used nofollow for your blogroll or links inside posts. I don’t believe in nofollow. If it’s worth linking to, it’s worth getting the credit with Google. Also, many bloggers don’t know about nofollow. So it’s disingenuous. They think you are helping them, but you really aren’t. Don’t know what nofollow is, or want to know how you can spot a nofollower? Comment below. If there is enough interest, I will do a post just on the subject of nofollow.
• Not linking at all.
• Not commenting at all.
• Only commenting on other blogs to promote yourself or insert a link to your blog or post. You should talk WITH the blog community, not AT it.

Before you even get all commenting and ranting below, I will address this right here and now: Yes, I know there are reasons for doing the stuff on my bad kharma list. If there weren’t reasons, people wouldn’t do those things. I’m talking about something else, being generous, and being a giver not a taker in the Blog Community.

In the old days, a web site was a self-contained entity, an island unto itself. This is the world of Web 2.0. This is a community people, no different than the one in which you physically live. Be a good citizen. And here is a hint. Good blog kharma does pay off. So you are even being selfish by giving.

_{Image of connecting figurines, copyright spekulator on stock.xchng.}