Beyond that, I think everyone needs to remember that there are no clear answers on all of this. That’s the bottom line.

It’s easy to say bloggers can’t take money for any reason, but don’t moms who put time and effort into their blogs deserve to earn some money for them? Blogging is not traditional journalism. I’ve said it many, many times, but the key here is disclosure. And when I say disclosure, I mean obvious and clear disclosure. And a little soul searching before you accept a check from a company is in order because there is no secret code about when that is appropriate or not.

On the one extreme, we have far too many mommy bloggers who don’t see their value at all. On the other extreme, we have bloggers who do nothing but use their blogs to pimp out products and make money. I say to all mommy bloggers: you need to find a place between those two extremes. Where exactly we all belong is the tricky part.

I also would argue that if you call it a review, it can’t be paid to do it. That is highly misleading. On Type-A Mom, for example, the guidelines call for all reviews to have both pros and cons. I want to be sure that we are all fairly testing and writing about the products there. I would recommend any blogger who labels a post a review do the same thing. It’s one thing to get the product to review, which simply makes sense if a company wants items reviewed. It’s another to accept cold cash to do the review.

When it boils down to it, blogging ethics shouldn’t be all that complicated. Like in any medium, the reader should come first. That sounds nice on paper, but even traditional outlets stopped putting the reader or viewer first years ago. So let me break down a few of the angles and considerations here.

Because this discussion about blogging ethics is one that needs to happen, and now. In fact, several months ago I bought the domain BloggerCodeofEthics.com. I think it’s well past time to launch it. This will be a site to develop a basic code of ethics with a strong emphasis on disclosure vs. the traditional media emphasis on avoiding bias (which was never truly realistic anyway). It will not make anyone any money. I would love to have some contributors there on the various topics related to blogging ethics, so if you are interested please comment below and I’ll be in touch.

Bloggers and Ethics

Let’s start with bloggers. Queen of Spain Blog featured a great post, I’m Calling Out the Carpetbagging Mommybloggers. Bloggers, you need to do some soul searching. Why ARE you blogging? If it is just to make a buck, I would suggest blogging isn’t the way to go about it at all.

I would say, however, the idea that advertising and editorial can be separate in blogging like they are in traditional media is just not realistic. First of all, it isn’t entirely separate in traditional media. It is in theory, but not in reality.

I’m here to say that traditional media is NOT the epitome of ethics and standards we’d all like to believe. I always found it rather hilarious that the Journalist’s Code of Ethics stated journalists cannot receive any compensation, gifts, free travel, or items of value on the sources they cover, yet travel writers for years have gotten a pass on that rule by many newspapers and magazines. Why? Because media outlets cannot afford to pay the expenses of the high cost of travel. So basically, it works like this: we will be ethical until it is just too expensive or inconvenient.

I had to laugh to read what Jessica Smith posted. She was quoted in the Wall Street Journal and is taking a ton of heat about it. But she nailed it. The idea that traditional media would slam bloggers about ethics? Laughable!

Here is a snippet from her post, Blogging, Double Standards and Recommendations:

Bloggers are being scrutinized for transparency and disclosure issues but the same “traditional” media that’s reporting on it?  Pot.  Meet.  Kettle.

The other point to note there is that mommy bloggers cannot separate it. A newspaper or TV station has one whole part of the building filled with humans who sell ads, and a whole other part of the building filled with humans who report the news. They rarely cross paths.

A mom blogger is usually writer, editor, administrator, general manager, producer and ad sales rep all rolled into one. There is no true separation. So that makes it all the more important for we bloggers to establish ethics standards and guidelines.

Obvious, Clear Disclosure is the Answer

So I get back to my main point of disclosure. As I said a while back in my post about bias in newspapers, readers don’t seem terribly concerned that bloggers are biased. What is crucial is that readers get informed about those biases. It is a breach of reader trust if you do something for pay and don’t say that is why you are doing it. It’s as simple as that, and that part is not complicated.

I don’t mean with a sidebar or bottom of page button that links to a computer-generated page that generally states you might be paid to write certain posts. That’s not good enough. Any post that was touched by a payment or a personal bias in some way should say so. It doesn’t need to be detailed, but you should share. And if you would feel awkward or embarrassed stating it in the post, you probably are doing something wrong.

The main guide I always used as a newspaper reporter was this: would I be embarrassed if this was reporter in the newspaper? Could I defend myself? I say the same thing applies to bloggers. Whenever you are blogging for pay or any sort of benefit, ask yourself those questions.

I love the ideas that Amy Lupold Bair, a.k.a. Resourcefulmommy, put out there after reading the Wall Street Journal article and the Queen of Spain post. In her post, Resourcefulmommy Changes, she indicates that she will include a button that says “product provided” in reviews where that is the case.

Reality is this: if mommy bloggers have to buy everything they review, there will be very few reviews. A professional blogger can still do a fair review.

Anyone whose opinion can be bought with a free product probably should reconsider blogging or sharing opinions, for that matter. Because blogging is about being personal, interacting with your readers, and being real. If you stop being real, you should stop blogging.

Blogging Ethics and Companies

I also think companies, ad agencies, PR firms all need to be brought into this discussion. Believe it or not, they are not evil people. I have some friends and clients in these realms, and I am here to tell you that many of them are struggling just like the bloggers. I would even say more so, since they don’t have the insider sense of the blogging community.

Just a few months ago, many bloggers would lament that companies don’t take bloggers seriously. Well, hey, we won! They are slowly but surely getting it. Sure, they might have some etiquette blunders, but let’s all cut them some slack.

And there is a reason why issues like paid posts are coming up. We all know that advertising is not terribly effective. Companies are doing what we have been TELLING them to do for years. They are trying to join the conversation. But for them, there aren’t as many natural ways to do that. So they are getting creative.

They are not out to offend bloggers. They want to engage with bloggers. They want to help their clients enter the social sphere. They have staff meetings, they attend webinars, and they go to conferences just to get the slightest hint of how to do that properly. There are not clear answers on how best to do that.

This is really the Wild West, and we should all keep in mind that things were much simpler for these people a year ago. I always feel like no matter what is said or done, I want to encourage marketers who are making an attempt. That is monumental.

But to those marketers, I also want to say this: some bloggers do not have a media background and are not that savvy. You should not take advantage. Blogging ethics are your responsibility, too. You should insist that bloggers disclose. You should be sure the bloggers are comfortable with the arrangement. You should NEVER attempt to buy a blogger’s opinion.

Buy an ad on their blog, and you might see the blogger naturally talks about your company. Even the blogs that don’t mention direct advertising would probably consider it if you make a polite offer. Personally, I think giveaways are a great way to get involved in the conversation since the blogger gets added traffic, the company gets exposure, and the readers love them.

You can insist that they also disclose that the company provided the prizes. Providing prizes for contests is not something remotely new to the blogosphere. But seriously. Contests decades before blogging even existed have had prizes provided by companies, so I doubt many readers think the bloggers themselves are buying all those prizes out of their own pockets.

Navigating the Blogging Ethics Gray Area

This is no simple thing for bloggers. There are no clear cut rules about what’s acceptable or not. I would say go with your gut.

If you don’t want your readers to know your arrangement, and in simple, non euphemistic terms that can confuse, then you should say no. If a company paid you to post, say it very clearly in the text. Tell exactly what was involved. You don’t have to say exact dollars, but if you received a gift card to write about something, say so. If you were paid to post on a certain subject by a company, say that. If you are writing about a company you do consultant work for, say so.

There are some very clever ways you can disclose besides the obvious. You can say so in the post in just a sentence or two near the top of the post. Plus, you can add a button that is high profile and not buried at the bottom that says the post is sponsored. Newspapers, magazines and TV all have had advertorials and paid programming for years (and I would argue some are not so clearly labeled as such). Bloggers are not the first to invent this.

You can have regular posts on your site that feature an icon like Featured Client. There are some fun ways to be clear to readers. If you find this all results in less traffic and interaction on your blog, then you need to think about what’s more important.

Personally, I don’t see how a review can be paid and still be a review, so I would consider using different terms.

But it all boils down to this. As bloggers, we will encounter many occasions to consider doing something for money. Every time, think about what that means.

When you represent a company as a blogger in some fashion, that is not the same as doing other work. You are selling a piece of your personal brand. If the company is a good fit for you, fine. If it’s something you would blog about or spread the word about for free because it is something you like or love or believe in, then great. If it’s something that interests your readers anyway, cool.

If not, walk away. We all need to feed our families, but let’s not kill the goose that lays the golden eggs here.

Each and every time, you have to decide whether the money is really worth it and whether it benefits your readers. Each and every time, you need to examine whether what you are about to do is ethical. Because like it or not, you are part of a community and you will be judged by that community for your actions. Be sure you can defend yourself, both to the community and to yourself.

And never forget: without your readers, none of these opportunities would happen. You owe them.

_{Photo of mommy blogger, © Channah at Sxc.hu}

So… I am not in high school anymore.

I won’t name names right now, but I’d like to put those of you who will later decide to be a drain on the social web on notice. This is the last time I offer this courtesy. Next time, the gloves come off.

What is my deal? Why should you even be reading this? Well, bear with me. I swear I have a broader lesson in how to properly social network in here. Eventually.

In the past month or so, all of these things have happened:

• I have been attacked a few times on Twitter for making completely uncontroversial comments. It has gotten to the point where comments are so snarky and rude on Twitter that I have even created a new tag of #hecklers and vowed to block and publicly out anyone who jumps down my throat for no good reason. Anyone who knows me at all knows I welcome civilized (and even snarky) debate, but there must be some attempt to have an adult conversation in there somewhere.
• The tone on Twitter lately seems to have taken on a much less collaborative and positive atmosphere as certain twitholes are coming in who see putting others down as the best way to boost their own credibility. (Hint: this ain’t the way to do it).
• I know of several online friends who have been the focus of rather vicious blog/Twitter attacks. Again, there is plenty of room for differing opinions about things. What there isn’t room for is people who flat out target someone and attack. If you don’t agree with the way someone is behaving on Twitter or in the blogosphere, there is no reason you can’t disagree in a polite and adult manner. This means being pleasant, and it means being open to other opinions. It means being FAIR. And it means if you are attacking because of a personal gripe or bias, being upfront about it. Oh, and here’s a little hint here, too. If you throw a popular social networking blogger under a bus for your own gain, you will suffer the consequences.

This, quite frankly, is the bad side to the power of blogging and social networking. Because, really, it IS like high school. There are popular people and unpopular people, nice people and mean people, the manipulators and the helpers, the givers and the takers.

I know I promised a lesson here somewhere, and yes I realize I am rambling. Here it is. When you socialize online, you are still socializing and you are still participating in a community. You should think about how your statements reflect on your personal brand (or company brand). If you say something snippy or snarky or rude, ask if you would say it the same way if you were face to face with that person. If the answer is no, you might want to ramp it down a bit. (Plus, very few people are really impressed by rudeness.)

If you display the characteristics of a jerk, it might work briefly. You might see some small gains.

But be very careful. You will quickly burn through all your social equity. Soon, you will find you have no reach and the work you put into social networking now means nothing. In fact, it means worse than nothing because now you have people spreading bad word of mouth about you at a hectic pace.

So always remember you are in a community. Remember your blog kharma, and remember to be on Twitter and other social networks to give and help first and not to take.

_{Photo of social drama, © Samantha Mesones.}

Some examples that I swear I am not making up:

Homer - from Canada writes: these bloggers are nut cases.. why would u want to put your personal stuff for millions to read and watch.. and then you worry about all those sicos out there… how crazy can you be..

and…

Eric the Red from Uzbekistan writes: “Writing about your daughter’s toilet-training misadventures could net you $40,000 a month and a legion of fans.”

If you’re a parent and have enough time blogging and wanting to capture and chronicle every stage of your child’s development for the world to see, your priorities as a caregiver and parent are entirely skewed. Get a life.

And if you do blog about your kid’s life for monetary gain, you are truly a cretin.

and…

Gogh Forit from Canada writes: Isn’t this just another form of pimping?

and…

My eyes are open, Are yours? from Canada writes: It was bad enough that my dad carried a picture of 3-year-old me in the bath in his wallet until I was 25.

Whatever money these people make from their kids, they should expect to spend it all on lawyers and psychotherapy for their kids later on. What kind of person tells others about this stuff? What kind of person reads it?

Boy are people bigoted against the mommy blogger. Why can’t a mom write about the amazing, wonderful, frightening, insane, beautiful, ugly experience of being a mom? Sure, moms should be careful about exposing too much information on the off chance some freak is watching. That really isn’t any different than anything else someone does online that presents personal information. People should use some sense about it.

It also ticks me off that moms get criticized for making a buck for their writing. Are you kidding me? How many MEN running corporations make millions of dollars on the backs of regular people? And maybe moms wouldn’t have to blog if a company or two would hire moms to telecommute (this is, ahem, the year 2008… you’ve heard of things like computers and email, right?).

Oh, and here’s a question for you. How is a mom who works a day job better or worse a parent than a mom who spends time blogging (probably almost exclusively during naps and nighttime, losing sleep many of you take for granted)? Both are doing what they can to earn a living and be a mom.

Really, bless Blogger and WordPress and Google Adsense and BlogHer and every other simple platform that has made it possible for moms to work from home and earn a buck! I only wish there were more options out there. But I am certainly glad there are moms out there making $40K a month blogging about being a mom. That is supreme.

And everyone else had better watch out. Mommy bloggers are taking over the world! Don’t mess with us.

Does this get you incensed, too? Don’t comment here (or at least don’t just do that). Write about this on your mommy blog and hop over and post a pro-mommy blogger comment. I’ve tried a few times, but it keeps telling me to confirm my email. Whatev…