Many mom bloggers I know are brilliant. They know the ins and outs of social media, Twitter, Facebook and blogging far better than many other so-called gurus do. They are connected, and they are influential. They have a following of loyal and devoted readers, subscribers and social network friends.

Yet they get asked to work for free. They are free spokesbloggers. They get asked to promote companies without pay, or for products or for coupons or for trips.

It’s insulting.

Look, here’s the deal. Mom bloggers do not need companies to not make money. We can do that all on our own. Really. If you are approaching a blogger, asking her to promote your company for free is wrong. It’s as simple as that. If you can say with a straight face that your paycheck is paid in your company’s or client’s products, then please. Call me on this.

We get asked constantly if people can “pick our brains.” No! Our brains are our commodity. They ARE our service. That is called consulting. And moms, if you find you are on the end of this, figure out your hourly rate. Figure out what it is worth to take time away from your work, your blogging, your children and your husband.

When you get asked to have your brain picked, quote your hourly rate for that service.

Now I do understand that many times it is tempting. You see an opportunity to work with a major brand. You think working for free will lead to more work. I do understand that. But it is a slippery slope. Why should someone pay you (or anyone for that matter) for work you are doing for free?

Accepting an item to do a review (if you really want to do that review and it serves your readers) is fine. I would just recommend having a policy of including both pros and cons in all reviews. A review should serve readers first and foremost. Any company that doesn’t understand that? Well, I wouldn’t work with that company. Believe me. They are not insisting traditional journalists do positive reviews. Mom bloggers can and should write reviews that show both the negative and positive about products.

And ladies, I am here to say something else. We have to behave like professionals. If we want to be treated as small business women, which is what we are, we should act like entrepreneurs. No more attacks and back-stabbing. We are adults here.

That includes not judging and condemning fellow mom bloggers. Yes, even those who accept products and trips. They are not bad people. Let’s stop jumping down their throats about it. Because the bottom line is surely every mom blogger would work for pay if there were ethical ways to do it, it did not compromise their readers and they actually wanted to do the work involved. But first, companies have to offer it as a standard mode of doing business with mom bloggers.

How can companies ethically pay mom bloggers? Here are some simple options:

• Pay them for content on your site, not theirs. In response to this issue, I recently launched Momtent. It is geared at connecting companies with mom bloggers. I am not a fan of paid posts (although with full disclosure, it is a personal choice and I don’t like people telling moms the right way to blog). Momtent’s model is for companies to pay bloggers to write on the company blog. But with or without Momtent, why not hire a mom to write for your blog? Or build it for you? Or tell you how you’re blogging wrong?
• Advertise. Quit looking at blog advertising the same way you look at traditional advertising. It isn’t the 1990s. They aren’t the same, and never will be. Besides, all those metrics that make you feel all warm and fuzzy about traditional media? They are a smoke screen. Traditional advertising metrics like viewers and circulation mean nothing. Who is seeing your ad? Who cares about it when they see it? Who ACTS on it? And treat blogs with some degree of respect. For traditional media, companies pursue two prongs: they hope to get PR coverage but know it’s a toss-up, and they do media buys. On blogs, they just want free coverage. Watch for a future post about the less tangible benefits of advertising on blogs.
• Hire her as a spokesblogger. This certainly isn’t a new concept. Celebrities have been doing this for years. Hire a mom blogger to promote your company with transparency, and to clearly state she is a spokesblogger. Pay her as you would any spokesperson. The same rules apply for moms here as celebrities: don’t endorse something (even for pay) that you don’t already love.
• Hire her as a social media consultant. Mom bloggers know so much more than the average person (or company) about the social web. Hire a mom to walk you through the ins and outs, to have conference calls with your staff, to do training, to run your social media campaigns, to develop your social media strategy. Believe me, doing it wrong can have dreadful repercussions.

I have become increasingly concerned about all of these issues. So many mom bloggers are influence-rich but cash-poor. That is a disturbing disparity. It’s also one destined to blow up as moms get increasingly frustrated while getting increasingly influential.

Let’s all do the right thing here. Companies (and the agencies that represent them), if you want to show your support of the mom blogosphere and engage those of us who control the purse strings, put your money where your mouth is. Bloggers, if you want to be taken seriously act like a business person. And the next time you get a pitch and you are agonizing over whether it even interests your readers, send them your ad rates.

_{Image of Rosie the Blogger, © Michael Licht}

I really would welcome your thoughts on this topic. What do you think? If you have worked for a company without pay, why? Was it because you thought it would lead to paid work down the road?  Did it? Have you had any luck responding to companies with an invitation to advertise when they pitch you? Companies and agencies, have you been paying bloggers and have some good examples of projects?

Here are some details about the conference:

Type-A Mom Conference is a unique mom blogging conference designed to help you take it to the next level. The conference will feature some of the most influential, admired and insightful mom bloggers talking about topics like power social networking, branding, blogging, finding your voice, and turning your passion for blogging into a real paycheck.

When? Sept. 24-27

Where? Asheville, NC

Find out more at the official Type-A Mom Conference site.

And be sure to register before 11:55 p.m. July 1st. The current Super Early Bird rate of $100 is half the full price, and it ends (and bumps up $50) in mere hours.

_{Photo © National Rural account on Flickr, used via Creative Commons license.}

The most common questions I get about social networking, the most frequent dilemmas I hear about, and the most prominent social media mistakes I see are all tied to someone (or a company) with a resistance to these worlds colliding.

People get on Facebook, and they get confused about whether they should friend old high school buddies or business associates. They sign up for Twitter to promote a business, then use their company logo as their avatar and wonder why they get no followers.

Here’s the thing. Even if you want the worlds separate, there is no 100 percent guarantee. You should proceed with the assumption that everyone can see and read everything you do on social networks. Period. Use appropriate caution in what you say and post.

So, once you move past that, just think about it all in real world terms. You don’t go to business meetings and refuse to mention you have a wife or kids. Most of us don’t visit family and zip your lips about what you do for a living. Social networking isn’t much different than real-life networking. It’s no secret, either. Entrepreneurs back in the 1950s knew customers like the personal touch.

Think of some of today’s biggest movers and shakers in the social web, such as Guy Kawasaki, Liz Strauss and Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh. There is one common characteristic. They engage people on a personal level, and they are people first and foremost.

So here is a checklist of five key points to be sure you have made your peace with those business and personal worlds colliding:

1. Have a face – If you are socializing, you do that as a person. You can represent a company, but you are a person first. No one wants to talk to a logo.
2. Talk about your personal life – No, you don’t need to tweet every moment of angst and embarassment, but small hints that you are human are a nice touch.
3. Mingle first – If you join a social network, take some time to feel it out. Don’t just jump in and start bugging people to Digg your site.
4. Ge a giver – Don’t just be there to self-promote or, frankly, it will backfire. Whatever social network you use, be sure you enter it first contributing to the community, not taking. Ask how you can help your followers or friends.
5. Enjoy the colliding worlds – You will probably discover you have business associates who share much in common with you personally, and old high school buddies who would make wonderful customers or clients. Because, you know, people do work and customers are people. Plus, like-minded people tend to have similar interests.

Social networking illustration © Rodolfo Clix.

If you can get past the offensiveness of the ad (I know, it’s hard), there is a larger issue here. Companies are marketing to moms without any clue what moms think. This, to me, is just further evidence that all companies and marketers who want to reach moms need to hire a Chief Mom Officer like Jessica Smith.

I recommend you (and Motrin!) watch Katja’s video:

And keep an eye on the PR nightmare via this feed of posts tagged #motrinmoms on Twitter:

If you have posted about Motrin moms (I already see loads of mom bloggers tearing into them. Don’t mess with the moms, companies!), please post a comment here. If you leave CommentLuv checked, it will pull your latest post’s link in automatically.

Part of the hang up for many higher-ups, I think, is fear of change. Another part of it is the desire to track ROI on marketing down to hard numbers, and social web campaigns don’t work like that. It’s a bit like asking to measure water cooler conversations.

Mostly, it’s a fear of surrending control of the marketing message to the online community. But guess what, people, they are already running it. You don’t think so? Search for your company name in Google and just see what you see. Mmm-hmm.

The Moms Panel is not even a year old yet, but the call for applicants alone attracted about 10,000 inquiries. Yes, Ten Thousand. So many that they created a private site, the Mickey Moms Club, just for the many moms who didn’t make the cut (they only selected a dozen for the Moms Panel). They are right now in the midst of going over the thousands of applications for the 2009 Moms Panel members.

Just think of this: the power of connecting with thousands of your enthusiastic fans, many of whom already are active online, and some of whom are bloggers and influencers. Just pause and reflect for a moment.

Yesterday, I chatted with Disney World Social Media Director Leanne Jakubowski about the Disney World Moms Panel. It was interesting to learn about how it all began, and how amazingly and wildly successful it has been in helping them find real mom Disney World evangalists. Also, I’d like to note, every major (and some minor) company should have a social media position on their roster. Just sayin’. It isn’t the 1990s anymore.

“It’s been a huge success,” Jakubowski said. This year, for example, they have upped the panel to 16 members. They were forced to do that to handle the high number of questions web site visitors asked.

When the idea first emerged, however, she said there were naysayers. In fact, even proponents were surprised at the impressive response.

“At the start, we were like shooting darts at the wall. We had no idea what the response would be. We thought if we got 100, we’d be doing good,” she recalled. Not only did they get around 10,000 applicants, but these were people who took the time to complete essays to apply. “These were very passionate people. These people were pouring out their hearts and souls.”

Their response in creating a social network just for the moms who didn’t make the cut is pretty impressive. I think many companies would have missed that catch. “We were going to tell 9,999 moms they didn’t make it. We quickly got together as a team here and worked with our internet folks and an outside consultant. We reached out to the moms and we formed the Mickey Moms Club.”

Kudos to Disney World for getting it! And if you have any questions about visiting Disney World, ask the Moms Panel.

I’m also thinking about going to Disney World in December to write about spending the holidays there. What do you think? It is an insanely busy time of year for a mom, but I keep thinking about the cool events happening there that I wrote about here. The kids would certainly enjoy checking those out, and it seems like I’d get loads of travel writing material. I was even thinking it could be fun to live blog and live microblog the Disney World trip, post twitpics, post qik videos, generally do something like Apryl did at Type-A Mom last weekend while on a press trip in Destin.

So do you think I should go? I would probably do it early December so readers/followers would have time to plan their own trip, too. Would you follow live blogging about it? I’d love your feedback while I mull the idea over.

_{Photo of the 2008 Disneyworld Moms Panel, courtesy of Disney World.}

1. Don’t follow anyone back. I mean anyone. Nope, not a soul. OK, maybe like 50 people, but no more. Just let people follow you. I mean, after all, you are [insert company name here] for crying out loud! Like you have time to follow people!
2. Have a user name, avatar and bio that only reflects the company and doesn’t show the slightest inclination or hint that an actual human is involved anywhere in this account. People love conversing with a logo, yo!
3. Let a bot tweet by simply automatically posting your RSS feed. Because, you know, people couldn’t just subscribe to that or anything. Or if you must tweet, just tweet at Twitter. Don’t reply @ other people on Twitter. Because that would almost be like a conversation. Eww!
4. Only promote your company. Only post about your company. You’re there to promote the company, after all, right?
5. Create the account and then disappear. People love to follow Twitter profiles that haven’t updated in weeks. So engaging.

If you don’t want to be a Twitter dweeb, just understand this. Social networking is not the same as advertising. This is a conversation. People don’t have conversations with companies, they have conversations with people at companies. Behave accordingly, and you will do just fine.

Just to solidify my point, I would like to offer up a couple of examples of corporations tweeting, both doing it well and doing it poorly.

Twitter businesses doing it poorly:

• Twitter – I can’t resist, really. I love Twitter and all, but this is just lame. What are they doing wrong? Following 28, followed by 28,000 first of all. Also, their tweets are essentially updates. This is really just a glorified RSS feed with updated. Jack and Biz are only slightly better on Twitter’s behalf. Although I have to say, I actually got a reply from Twitter once. It was kind of startling, but someone is reading that account at least.
• Etsy – It pains me to mention them, because I totally love Etsy. And I do like the conversational tone here, and the fact they follow some of their followers back. But this Twitter profile only tweets about Etsy, never replies @ another user, and has only 29 updates. Considering Etsy is all about the personal experience when you’re making a purchase, I sure wish I saw an Etsy official’s face and saw some personal tweets here, or even links to Etsy sellers’ personal blogs or something.

Twitter businesses doing it right:

• Zappos – Following Zappos’ CEO is entertaining and engaging. He has posted silly pictures of himself, and has a very approachable manner. I would love to see him @ more, but he is following more than 12,000 people (even more than the 10,000-some following him). He’s making friends and increasing awareness of Zappos.
• JamesatBabyspot -I like a whole bunch of things about James’ account. For one thing, I know his name. I also still know his business because he worked that right into his user name. He tweets about this and that, and he tweets often. He does almost as many posts @ someone as he does not. I wish his face was his avatar. Otherwise, he’s doing it right. He’s networking, and he’s spreading the gospel about his product.

Do you guys have more examples of good and bad corporate tweeters? Share in the comments. And do you follow entities and corporations? For example, I follow woot because, well, it’s woot. I’ll forgive them for only posting the latest woot. But they definitely are not part of the conversation.