So when Katja Presnal mentioned doing a test drive of the couponing site, A Full Cup, I was much more intrigued than I normally would be. She sent along a $50 American Express card, and I decided to see if I could really buy groceries with that. I seriously can’t remember the last time I spent so little at the store. If you read my previous grocery shopping post about my reverse shopping list, you know this is something that’s been concerning me.

What happened? Well, watch and see…

Here is an excerpt from the People post:

“It’s very hard,” the actress confessed on Britain’s morning show GMTV. “I stopped at three months, [it was] about as much as I could do.”

I would write something really eloquent and deep, but I ranted in my email to my friend. I figured I would just paste it right here:

I am really irritated. This makes me so mad. How many poor moms will give up because they figure if the super celebrity mom couldn’t do it, how could they. This pisses me off just as much as EVERY nurse and doctor in the NICU telling me how hard breastfeeding twins is (they were referring to supply, which is completely bogus because supply meets demand and I had TONS of milk before returning to work anyway).

Her main complaint seems to be positioning, which I found actually pretty easy. Setting them was hard (I needed help from someone at first because getting both positioned was hard since you had to do one baby one-handed at first). She should really (1) try harder or (2) learn more about it or (3) keep her problems to herself.

While it is good for mom to know sometimes it doesn’t work out, I don’t believe three months of trying breastfeeding is enough for a public figure who surely has tons of help with everything. Did she call LLL? Did she have a post-partum doula help?

So that was my email rant on the subject. I didn’t edit it for public consumption here because I wanted you to see my email as it was sent. I know sometimes a mom does need to stop beating herself up with guilt about failure to breastfeed, but certainly we should all encourage moms to try and to seek out support.

And I am here to tell you, you certainly can breastfeed twins. It was probably one of the more fascinating stages of my life to nurse two babies at once. If you do have trouble with something as easy to remedy as positioning help, please seek out assistance from an experienced twin mom, a lactation consultant, a friend, La Leche League before you give up. And if you do that first and still find breastfeeding twins isn’t for you, then at least you will know you have tried.

EDITED TO ADD: I know some of you think I am picking on Angelina Jolie for not finding success breastfeeding twins. I don’t criticize her for giving up. I criticize her for giving up for a BAD reason and when she has so many resources available. I criticize her for not mentioning resources. Most of all, though, it angers me that she is perpetuating a myth that twins can’t be breastfed… and believe me, it is a VERY common myth. I heard it all the time, and even today people on Twitter who are positive are saying how they think it’s so amazing I BF twins. Like it’s a big triumph. I think it should be COMMONPLACE. I know I was determined because of the issues with my first child and in a way it was like my chance to make up for it… but I also know that it never entered my mind twins would be harder initially. Maybe it’s because I knew a friend of mine who did very well with twins, so I had a good example. That always gave me hope. So perhaps THAT is truly my point. We need good examples to inspire us, not bad examples to give us a reason to give up. Then, even if we do give up, at least we will have tried first.

Photo of breastfeeding infant, © Marek Bernat.

I have toddler twins and a 5-year-old. I need hands-free first and foremost, and that eliminates about 90 percent of remotely decent bags. I am also an early adopter gadget geeky mom, which means I have a variety of gadgets that need a safe, cozy spot in a purse: iPod, Smartphone, digicam, etc.

Since becoming a mom, I have bought purses. I mean, a lot of purses. I always have such high hopes for them. Then I use them and usually within a day, maybe a week, I hate them. I endure them usually for several months before I resort to trying again.

Then one day I saw the infomercial-esque commercial for the Buxton. It looked so alluring. They were showing like an endless number of things going in and out of the thing. I thought to myself, “I know this is probably a scam… yet I can’t help but wonder if I should get it. I DO have a lot of crap.”

Jump six months later, and I was standing at a Bed, Bath and Beyond store. And there it was. The Buxton. I couldn’t resist the impulse to try it. I even pulled it out of the bag before making my purchase and thought two things: “This looks like a cheap crappy purse,” and “This does NOT look like it can hold a bunch of crap.”

I was right on both points. It barely held my wallet and AT&T Tilt Smartphone at the same time! It does have several pockets, but they are miniscule pockets. For example, I couldn’t dream of getting a gadget in there like an iPod or even a slim digicam. Not unless it was the only thing going in there.

And I’ve had it less than a month, and there are already sections tearing. Probably from my attempt to make more than two things fit inside.

Oh, and the best part? That little cell phone pocket they brag about? I don’t think the stylus for my Smartphone would even fit in there.

So I’ve decided I’m sick of trying purses that are not mom-friendly, only to waste money, waste precious time I don’t have moving crap from purse to purse, and then just be aggravated with it later.

I’m making a call-out to PR people, companies, manufacturers, Etsy crafters, whoever. If you have a purse you think is mom-friendly, contact me and I will test it. If I hate it, I will write about it (sorry, but I’ve got to share!). But if I love it, I will write about it and gush to my mom friends. On several social networks. (Psst: I have a lot of mom friends. I mean, a lot. And most of them have blogs too. Just sayin’.)

Here are my demands of a purse. I would read them closely. These are non-negotiable. For a purse to be mom-friendly, it should be all of these things:

1. It must be hands free. I have three kids. When they see my hands tied up, they plot against me. Two of them are 2-year-olds. Enough said? I need my hands. I don’t care what makes a purse hands free. It can be a backpack, a messenger bag, and it can float right next to me for all I care. But I need it to be hands free in a comfortable manner (as in, not a back breaker!).
2. If I have to let go of it or set it down suddenly, and open, it needs to keep all my crap inside. I know this demand probably sounds a little unreasonable, but here’s the thing. Because of said kids above, I often have to put down a purse without forethought and effort to zippers and snaps. Some purses will allow gravity to keep crap down, but some actually have gravity working against you. If you leave your purse open, it WILL dump its contents. I can’t have that.
3. It must have multiple secure, closable inner pockets and pouches that will hold a variety of gadgets. A mom-friendly purse should be able to hold cell phone (yes, a big one), PDA, iPod, digital camera, maybe a Flip. If these pouches can be padded, all the better. It should also have plenty of room for you to organize checkbook, wallet, keys (how many times must I dig around a stupid purse looking for keys? I want a special pocket easy to get to, but not subject to fall-outs, that holds keys). A purse that is just one bag sack is useless. You can’t find anything in a rush, and moms always rush.
4. It must be roomy, but not ginormous. I know this is a subjective thing, but size with purses never seems quite right. If it’s huge (and one big glorified tote), it is a back-breaker and you also carry everything but nothing since you can’t access anything. If it’s too small, well, it’s utterly useless.
5. It must not stain easily. Because let me tell you. Something will get spilled on it.

Beyond that, there are some features that would be nice, but not mandatory:

1. It should look good. I would love to actually put that in the mandatory list for a mom-friendly purse, but I’m trying to be reasonable here. If it could look great and stylish, that would be an amazing bonus.
2. It should be manufactured/made/designed by a mom.
3. It should be reasonably priced (accessible for most moms to buy).
4. It should be environmentally-friendly. A purse made with recycled materials, for example, would honor a mom’s desire to protect the planet for her own children.

Here’s the totally weird thing about my quest to find the perfect mom-friendly purse: moms are buying a crapload of purses. Aren’t they a major purse demographic? I mean, are they testing these things on any actual moms? I can’t help but wonder.

I’m ready. Do you have a purse that can stand up to a type-A mom’s test?

And if you’re a mom, what annoys you about purses? Have you found the perfect mom-friendly purse? I would love some recommendations! I’m getting desperate here!

_{Photo of woman with purse, © Ugur Yilmaz.}

My husband and I used to be all about nightlife. Then we had a kid. But we still did a lot. After all, we traveled for months living in Europe, so she saw a late night here or there. Then we had two more kids at once. And nightlife was pretty much killed with the exception of the lively party happening upstairs when the twins chit-chat and giggle in their room, and my 5-year-old stays up way later than she should.

We still would love to have a nightlife, and oh we tried to have one. We hired babysitters. They never showed. Ever. Something about twins under the age of 2 seemed to spook them, I guess. No one seemed capable or willing or interested in watching our gaggle of spastic children.

So if you can’t beat them, let them join you. We started doing the nightlife thing anyway. With the kids. Now this isn’t the kind of nightlife we indulged in when we first dated (if there are Jello shots involved, they are virgin, and cut into cute jiggly shapes, and have fruit inside).

Each week, we’ve been hitting downtown Asheville (which is a cool and funky place, but is small enough to feel comfortable out with little ones). Our fave thing is to go to the drum circle, which is a weekly gathering of dozens and dozens of people playing drums, dancing, performing and even (oh, yeah, I said it) playing hacky sack. Umm, anyway.

The kids have a blast, and we’ve gotten them their own little drums. They also get a chance to see many other kids there. We’ve been going out to dinner, and just strolling around town. The kids loved eating at Cats and Dawgs, a little kid-friendly hot dog joint downtown.

No, we don’t get drunk or stay up half the night. In fact, we often end up home before it really gets fully dark. But we all are getting a chance to get out and experience some nightlife. The kids get to see a side of life they don’t normally see during the daytime. We get to have what feels like a semblance of our former socializing selves.

Best of all… and I know this probably sounds a little sad coming from a reformed party girl turned minivan mom… I almost think it’s more fun than real grown up nightlife. But don’t quote me on that.