I am not in high school anymore. This should be obvious (particularly if you’ve seen my picture or you know I have three kids), but I feel the need to repeat it: I am not in high school. Why am I chanting this mantra, do you ask? Well, it’s because the instances of social networking ridiculousness have really amped up lately. The number of twitholes I have encountered lately, and the amount of mama drama I’ve heard about or been involved in, have increased dramatically.

So… I am not in high school anymore.

I won’t name names right now, but I’d like to put those of you who will later decide to be a drain on the social web on notice. This is the last time I offer this courtesy. Next time, the gloves come off.

What is my deal? Why should you even be reading this? Well, bear with me. I swear I have a broader lesson in how to properly social network in here. Eventually.

In the past month or so, all of these things have happened:

• I have been attacked a few times on Twitter for making completely uncontroversial comments. It has gotten to the point where comments are so snarky and rude on Twitter that I have even created a new tag of #hecklers and vowed to block and publicly out anyone who jumps down my throat for no good reason. Anyone who knows me at all knows I welcome civilized (and even snarky) debate, but there must be some attempt to have an adult conversation in there somewhere.
• The tone on Twitter lately seems to have taken on a much less collaborative and positive atmosphere as certain twitholes are coming in who see putting others down as the best way to boost their own credibility. (Hint: this ain’t the way to do it).
• I know of several online friends who have been the focus of rather vicious blog/Twitter attacks. Again, there is plenty of room for differing opinions about things. What there isn’t room for is people who flat out target someone and attack. If you don’t agree with the way someone is behaving on Twitter or in the blogosphere, there is no reason you can’t disagree in a polite and adult manner. This means being pleasant, and it means being open to other opinions. It means being FAIR. And it means if you are attacking because of a personal gripe or bias, being upfront about it. Oh, and here’s a little hint here, too. If you throw a popular social networking blogger under a bus for your own gain, you will suffer the consequences.

This, quite frankly, is the bad side to the power of blogging and social networking. Because, really, it IS like high school. There are popular people and unpopular people, nice people and mean people, the manipulators and the helpers, the givers and the takers.

I know I promised a lesson here somewhere, and yes I realize I am rambling. Here it is. When you socialize online, you are still socializing and you are still participating in a community. You should think about how your statements reflect on your personal brand (or company brand). If you say something snippy or snarky or rude, ask if you would say it the same way if you were face to face with that person. If the answer is no, you might want to ramp it down a bit. (Plus, very few people are really impressed by rudeness.)

If you display the characteristics of a jerk, it might work briefly. You might see some small gains.

But be very careful. You will quickly burn through all your social equity. Soon, you will find you have no reach and the work you put into social networking now means nothing. In fact, it means worse than nothing because now you have people spreading bad word of mouth about you at a hectic pace.

So always remember you are in a community. Remember your blog kharma, and remember to be on Twitter and other social networks to give and help first and not to take.

_{Photo of social drama, © Samantha Mesones.}